Edward
It seriously seems just like yesterday we heard the words, “Your baby tested positive for Down syndrome." My eyes still well up in tears when I think of that moment. The world froze. I could see myself looking from the outside in. It did not feel real. We were devastated. We felt like it was the worst thing to ever happen to us at that time. This is simply because we just didn’t know any better. We had never been exposed to Down syndrome, or any special needs, for that matter. If we only knew the love and joy that was to come we would never have worried.
The thing is, when you are pregnant with your first baby, you have an idea of what that baby will be like, and this definitely was not it. We had to grieve the baby we thought we were having. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. With the help of my husband and a lot of prayer, I learned to shift my mindset, lean on friends and family, and most importantly, let go and let God take over. After all, this was his plan and not ours. This was our story unfolding.
As soon as Eddie entered this world our fears and sadness immediately left us. With each passing day, I feel more privileged to get the opportunity to say he is ours. I fall more in love with him and the hearts he changes on a daily basis. While I was pregnant, several moms to babies with Down syndrome all told me , “As soon as you hold your baby in your arms all of your fears will wash away,” but I was a ball of worry and didn’t believe them. Well, guess what? They were so right.
Yes, Edward will challenge and push us to new heights, but we truly believe this was our purpose. During difficult times in my past, I remember begging God to help me, asking for my purpose on this earth. Well, this was his answer. Now when I pray, I find myself starting out each prayer with “Thank you.” I have learned so much about myself through this process and have seen such amazing things come from it. Eddie is the closest I’ve ever felt to Heaven. He has helped bring me closer to God and has formed a bond so tight between my husband and I that will never be broken. After we told our family about the extra chromosome, one of my family members said something that always sticks out in my mind. They said, “I really think Eddie is going to be the glue that bonds our family together,” and I really do believe it.
There are so many things I wish people knew about our little boy. First and foremost, he is that he is just that, our Eddie. He isn’t a Down syndrome baby or or a “downs” baby. He is an adorable babe, who happens to have an extra chromosome. We just see and feel his love and appreciate him for who he was made to be. We wish people knew Down syndrome isn’t something to be so scared of like we once were. We wish the medical professionals didn’t present his diagnosis as a horrible life sentence but more of a blessing. We wish they would just shade that it will be a different journey than you originally anticipated but not necessarily a bad one that should be ended before even given a chance.
Eddie has exposed us to a whole new world. A whole new group of amazing people- “the lucky few.” He has showed us all of the wonderful possibilities he will have. I wish they would have told us how incredibly supported we would feel throughout this journey. We wish people didn’t feel sorry for us or tell us, “I could never do what you are doing,” because you can and you would. People say Eddie is lucky to have us, but we feel the opposite. We can’t imagine life without him.
There are so many things that make Edward so amazing. It’s hard to put them into words. His pure soul can immediately be felt when you meet him. His ability to speak to you with just his eyes and his oh so previous smile. I remember specifically one moment when we finally got to take Eddie home from the NICU and my husband was holding him in our kitchen. He said, "I feel like when he looks at me it’s like he’s looking right into my soul.” I could not agree more.
I want the world to know that no matter what makes up your child, typical or not, their lives matter and they deserve just as much at a chance at this incredible life. I want that pregnant mama who is sitting in the doctor’s office or behind that cold phone who just received a diagnosis know that they are not alone. I want them to know it will be amazing. It is okay to be scared because it is the unknown. Eddie has opened our eyes to a world we never knew. I want to show people this world.
Eddie has taught and inspired me so much more than I can verbalize. He has opened my eyes to disabilities and I notice them way more now. He has made me want to advocate for him, all those with Down syndrome, and those with other disabilities. I want to change the narrative about Down syndrome. I want to be an inspiration to new moms, like so many of the moms were and are to me. He has made my heart grow so much love in his short five months on this earth and it is truly amazing to see the shift in our hearts since he’s come into our lives. I almost can’t remember life without him. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. Just remember, when life happens the way we don't expect, I am here to say, “It will be okay.” These are the experiences that build us into our best selves. They teach us perspective, not to worry about the trivial things of life; to appreciate each person. I am so thankful Eddie has brought this awareness to our lives. I know he will accomplish big things and I couldn’t be more proud to be standing by his side when he does.
To learn more about Edward and follow the Hartrich family’s journey, follow @our_extraordinary_edward on Instagram!