Stella

This is the story of my Sweet Stella...

After 5 1/2 years, my husband and I (mostly me) decided that we wanted to have one more baby. We already had two wonderful boys that brought us so much joy and laughter. I love being a mother!! It's what I was born to do. And I felt like they were growing up so fast and I was ready for more. After a year of trying to get pregnant and two miscarriages, we finally had our baby on the way. I could not have been more excited and terrified at the same time. Starting over again after six and a half years was a little intimidating. I was having a fairly easy pregnancy and loving the feeling of growing a little human inside me. There are no words for it.

It was during our routine ultrasound at 19 weeks that the doctor came into the room looking melancholy and told us that our baby showed some "markers" indicating Down syndrome. We would end up testing my blood to confirm. They let us know that we had “options” if it turned out to be positive. It was a long, stressful two weeks waiting for the results. We got called into the office which seemed like a bad sign. The “high risk” doctor came in and took us to his office and my heart began to sink. His first words were, “I’m sorry.”

He began speaking and I heard “Down syndrome,” “Trisomy 21” and that was pretty much it. Before we even knew if she’d be a boy or a girl, what color eyes or what color hair she’d have, who’d she look like, if she would have dimples like her big brother... before any of that, her life was already being devalued because of one little extra chromosome.

“Sorry, but your child will be born with Down syndrome.”
“Sorry, your child may have number of medical problems.”
“Sorry, how would you like to continue from here.”

“Sorry .”

The next couple of weeks was what I referred to as my "grieving process. I had to grieve for what I thought I was losing, this idea of what and who my child would be and what their future would hold. There were a lot of highs and lows during this time. But when I came out, I was able to come up with a new idea of what my child's future would be and was thrilled about it. I was already in love with this child and nothing would change that.

As we started to tell family and friends about our baby’s diagnosis, we were met with a lot more “I’m sorry’s.” But I’ll never forget the first person to tell me “Congratulations!” That one word carried so much hope and love. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or my baby. I loved this baby and wanted her to be celebrated!

That’s why it is my mission to change the way people view Down syndrome. My child should be celebrated like the birth of any other child. How about instead of “Sorry,” say, “CONGRATULATIONS, your child will bring you so much joy, happiness and love! You are one of the lucky few! You will learn so much!”

We can change that!
It starts with you!
How can YOU respond when someone tells you that their child has or will be born with Down syndrome?

CONGRATULATE THEM! They are having/just had a baby!

It’s honestly NOT the diagnosis that is scary. What’s scary is how people react to it.
What’s scary is how people treat those with different abilities.
What’s scary is society’s ideal of “normal.”
What’s scary is our children not being loved and accepted.
What’s scary has everything to do with everyone else and actually nothing to do with the people with Down syndrome.

Stella is 6 now, and what I want you to know about her is that she is so much more alike than different. She is sassy. She is smart. She loves to play with her friends, swim, swing, jump and wrestle with her brothers. She throws tantrums, hugs with her entire body, gives the best wet kisses, loves unconditionally, is stubborn and hard headed, loves to laugh, and brings joy to everyone she meets.